When You Feel Dismissed

Your symptoms deserve proper attention. Many people with endometriosis describe feeling dismissed, minimised or not believed before getting answers. This can make it harder to ask for help again, especially if previous appointments left you feeling embarrassed, upset or unsure of yourself. Being dismissed does not mean your symptoms are not real. It means you may not yet have been given the right assessment, explanation or plan.

What dismissal can sound like

Dismissal can sound like:

  • “Period pain is normal.”
  • “Your scan is normal, so nothing is wrong.”
  • “It is probably stress.”
  • “You are too young for endometriosis.”
  • “You just need to lose weight.”
  • “You should try having a baby.”
  • “Everyone gets cramps.”
  • “It cannot be that bad.”
  • “There is nothing else we can do.”

Sometimes comments are meant to reassure, but they can still feel dismissive if your pain, symptoms or daily impact are not being taken seriously.

What you can say

Clear impact statements can help keep the appointment focused. You might say:

  • “This pain is affecting my daily life.”
  • “I am missing work, school or normal activities because of symptoms.”
  • “Pain relief is not helping enough.”
  • “My bowel or bladder symptoms follow a pattern.”
  • “I understand the scan was normal, but my symptoms are continuing.”
  • “I need a plan for what happens next if this does not improve.”
  • “Please can this be documented in my notes?”

You do not need to be confrontational. You are allowed to be clear.

Ask for the plan

Before leaving an appointment, try to understand the next step. You can ask:

  • What do you think is causing my symptoms?
  • What else needs to be ruled out?
  • What can we try now?
  • How long should I try this for?
  • What should I do if symptoms continue?
  • When should I come back?
  • What symptoms would need urgent help?
  • When would referral be appropriate?

A clear plan can help you avoid being left with vague reassurance.

If scans or tests are normal

Normal test results can be reassuring for some conditions, but they do not always explain ongoing symptoms. You can ask:

  • What does this test rule out?
  • What does it not rule out?
  • Could endometriosis still be possible?
  • Should symptoms be reviewed if they continue?
  • Would specialist ultrasound, MRI, referral or laparoscopy ever be considered?

It is reasonable to ask what happens next when symptoms continue.

Requesting documentation

You can ask for your symptoms and their impact to be recorded. This may include:

  • pain pattern
  • missed work, school or activities
  • bowel or bladder symptoms
  • pain during or after sex
  • fatigue
  • medication tried
  • side effects
  • previous treatments
  • concerns about fertility
  • request for referral or review

Documentation can help if you need follow-up, a second opinion, workplace support, school support or specialist referral.

Asking for another opinion

Asking for another opinion is not being difficult. It may be reasonable if:

  • symptoms are severe or worsening
  • symptoms are affecting daily life
  • you do not understand the plan
  • treatment is not helping
  • you feel concerns were not addressed
  • bowel, bladder, chest, scar or nerve-like symptoms are present
  • you want specialist endometriosis review

You can ask calmly: “I would like another opinion because my symptoms are still affecting my life and I do not feel we have a clear plan.”

Prepare before you speak with a healthcare professional

Use our Prepare for Appointment Tool to organise your symptoms, questions, previous treatments, concerns and priorities before your appointment. Try to record what symptoms happen, when they happen, how they affect daily life, what you have tried, what has not helped, and what you want from the appointment. You do not need a perfect diary. A clear summary can help the conversation feel more focused.

Finding the right type of care

Use the Endometriosis Care Directory to explore endometriosis-related care providers, including specialist endometriosis services, pelvic physiotherapists, pain specialists and other relevant clinicians. The directory is for research and information only. It is not a recommendation, referral service, ranking or medical advice. Always check details directly with the provider and speak with an appropriate healthcare professional before making decisions about your care.

Final reminder

You are allowed to ask questions, ask for a plan, ask for documentation and ask for review. This is not being difficult. It is part of your care. Your symptoms deserve attention, especially when they affect daily life, continue despite treatment, or leave you without clear answers. This resource is here to support your understanding, not replace medical advice from a qualified healthcare professional.